“THE BLOODY FINGER”
There once was a family a long time ago that went on vacation. A mother, father, Brother, Sister and last but not least a small baby. After a long day of sight seeing and traveling the family decides to check into a local motel. They’d checked out all the surrounding areas and the hotels were all full. Finally they come to the last one and are desperate! They enter in to find that the hotel is full! Desperate, the father tells the clerk “We’ll take anything you have..just Anything!! Please Mr. don’t you have a room for us?” The clerk felt really bad for the family and told the father “Sir, we do happen to have just one room left. We don’t normally let people stay in it though. It’s haunted. Everyone that has stayed always disappear in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye or even paying their bill!” The father says ” Great!! We’ll take it! You see, I don’t believe in all that ghost rubbish anyhow!” He takes the key and they go off into the old hotel room. Seeing as how the family was so tired from their travel, the family decided to order out for pizza. The pizza finally arrives and the mother gets the pizza and sits it on the counter. The little baby was so hungry!! He watched that pizza the whole time! Mom announced “Everyone it’s time to wash up for dinner!!” So off to the bathroom Mom goes to wash her hands for dinner. She enters into the bathroom, turns on the sink and a horribly scary voice can be heard…
It scares the mom so badly that she jumps out the bathroom window and runs away! Never to be seen again!
After a few minutes the father starts to wonder where the mother is…so he tells the kids he’ll go find out so that they can take their turn in the bathroom and then eat the pizza. He goes into the bathroom, turn on the sink and hears that same scary voice “BLOOOOOOODYYYYYY FIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGERRRRR”
He gets so scared that he runs to the window, jumps out never to be seen again.
After a few minutes the brother starts to wonder where Mom and Dad went. He goes into the bathroom to check on them. He walks over to the sink, turns on the water and hears “BBBBLLLLLLOOOODDDDYYYY FIIINNNNNNGGGERRRRR” (getting louder and louder each time it’s said) He runs to the window and jumps out, never to be seen again.
The sister starts to wonder where everyone has gone to. She goes into the bathroom to check things out. Once in the bathroom she decides to wash up. She walks to the sink, turns on the water and hears a scary voice “BBBBLLLLLLOOOODDDDYYYYY FFIIINNNNGGGGEEERRRRR” (getting louder each time it’s said) She’s so scared that she runs to the bathroom window and jumps out, never to be seen again.
Ok…so all that’s left is the baby,…..he’s pretty upset that everyone has left him alone and he can’t even reach that delicous pizza himself! He’s going to tell them exactly what he thinks about it too! JUST as soon as he can find them. He crawls into the bathroom to see where everyone has gone. First he opens the door…nothing…he crawls over to the sink…still nothing…..”hmm” he thinks to himself…THEN he hears it! The scary scary voice…”BLLLLOOODDDDYYY FIIINNNNNGGERRRRR” The baby, frustrated, looks around …”BLLLLOOODDDDYYY FIIINNNNNGGERRRRR” (much louder this time!) the baby just sits there ,…”BLLLLOOODDDDYYY FIIINNNNNGGERRRRR (VERY loud) Finally the baby says just as loud and very frustrated “AWWWW Stick A BANDAID ON IT!” he shouts!
“A HIKE IN THE WOODS”
A guy’s going on a hiking vacation through the mountains Out West. Before setting off into the boonies, he stops into a small general store to get some supplies. After picking out the rest of his provisions, he asks the old store owner, “Say, Mister, I’m going hiking up in the mountains, and I was wondering;do you have any bears around here?”
“Yup,” replies the owner.
“What kind?” asks the hiker.
“Well, we got black bears and we got grizzlies,” he replies.
“I see,” says the hiker. “Do you have any of those bear bells?”
“What do you mean?” asks the store owner.
“You know,” replies the hiker, “those little tinkle-bells that people wear in bear country to warn the bears that they are coming, so they don’t surprise the bears and get attacked.”
“Oh yeah,” replies the owner. “They’re over there,” he says, pointing to a shelf on the other side of the store. The hiker selects a couple of the bells and and takes them to the counter to pay for them.”Tell me something, Mister,” the hiker inquires, “how can you tell when you’re in bear territory, anyway?”
“By the scat,” the old fellow replies, ringing up the hiker’s purchases.
“Well, um, how can I tell if it’s grizzly territory or black bear territory?” the hiker asks.
“By the scat,” the store owner replies.
“Well, what’s the difference?” asks the hiker. “I mean, what’s different between grizzly scat and black bear scat?”
“The stuff that’s in it,” replies the store owner.
Getting a little frustrated, the hiker asks, “OK, so what’s in grizzly bear scat that isn’t in black bear scat?” he asks, an impatient tone in his voice.
“Bear bells”, replies the old man as he hands the hiker his purchases.